Thank You Fred
by Bella Moon
Summary: A short one shot monologue of George after the war in his couping with the pain.


That small hand clasped firmly in mine, at a time I needed it most, was stuck with me now. It had been just over a year since Fred's funeral, and the two things that stuck with me were the pain, and the comfort of her. No one understood what it was really like. Yeah, they lost a son, a brother, a friend. I lost my twin; my other half. Somehow no one seemed to understand how signifigant that was ; but she did. She was Hermoine Granger afterall, the smartest witch of our times. Fred and I always loved to tease our dear Hermoine. She was such a stickler for rules , a little know it all, and she blushed prettily when we teased. It made her a favorite target for two pranksters such as ourselves. I'm sure I could almost hear Fred that day at his funeral from behind the veil saying, "About time Georgie Boy!"

Yeah, I'd had a crush on our little Miss. Granger since we were in the DA together. It was hard to admit having a crush on our little brothers school crush and best friend. I tried to hide it from Fred, but there was no hiding things from your other half. We could practically read each others minds. He was always encouraging me to make a move, and after everything going on with the war, I had finally made a deal with Fred that if I made it through everything, I would make my intentions known.

That was before I lost an ear, good friends, my twin, and witnessed what everyone in my family had been waiting on; Ron finally making his move to make Hermoine his girl. Oh mom's been planning this for years. Everyone expected it to happen. The two best friends of Harry Potter, together at last in love. It was such a crushing blow at a time I couldn't take anymore. So now here I sit, in my desolate apartment in London, watching the water of the Thames out my window, brewding all alone. I know I should of been happy for my little brother that he wsa happy with the girl of his dreams after all these years, but somehow I just couldn't be when I wanted for her to be mine instead.

For the first week after Fred's funeral the Burrow was both my own personal Hell and Heaven. Hermoine and Harry had elected to stay at the Burrow for a while to aleviate some of the pain the last year had put everyone through. That was when Ron made his move. I watched as Ron finally got his courage together to ask Hermoine to be his girlfriend at long last. Watched as she hugged him close before answering him with a kiss. Watched as mum cried out her joy and expressed how she knew it all along when they announced it to everyone at the dinner table. It was a gut wrenching hell. Then there were the times I felt all alone in my sorrow, when I thought no one else was around, and she would come out of nowhere to quietly sit beside me and take my hand. She never tried to speak to me about my sorrows or offer advice as everyone else. Never looked at me like I was a broken man. Simply sat quietly holding my hand with a soft smile, and a quiet understanding. We walked through the garden sometimes when Ron and Harry were off checking on Order business, simply talking about memories of our loved ones. She confided in me her angst at finding her parents, and how things would be; if it may be for the better to wait to return their memories. It warmed my heart that she shared her pain with me, and yet still was concerned over mine.

It was all too much really. The warmth and comfort of her presence when I knew she wasn't mine to have, mum and everyone smothering me with their sympathy and sorrows, trying to fix "the broken one". Everytime mum looked at me and called me "Fred" by accident, how she would break down in tears. I knew I should try to understand her loss of a son, but somehow it just didn't compare. I had to leave. They had to understand. I knew she would. She of all people would understand, as she always had. So, I left. I left a note for mum and dad, explaining I just needed to get away, to heal a bit and cope. I left a note for Ron, wishing him happiness and leaving him the shop to run in my stead. Afterall, I knew out of anyone, Ron would take care of our legacy. It was the only thing left of Fred's that I couldn't let go of, and couldn't stand to be a part of right now. I left Ginny a note wishing her and Harry all the happiness in the world and to take care of mum and dad while I was gone; that I would be back when a was more whole again. At this point, I didn't see that happening in the near future. Finally, I left a secret note to Hermoine.

My Beautiful Know it All,

I'm sure you've figured out before anyone that I am gone and why. You knew somehow all along that this was coming. Clever girl. You always were the brightest witch of our times. I only wanted to let you know personally how much your quiet understanding has meant to me. I shall miss our walks in the garden, the simple talks where we talked about everything and nothing at all, and the warmth and comfort of your hand in mine. I'll miss watching you angrily push at the unruly curls falling in your face, the way your brown eyes light up when you smile, the smell of gardenias that fills the room when you walk in, and your ever present warmth. I wish you all the happiness in the world. I know Ron has been a little slow, but I'm sure our little Ronnekins will treat you right. As long as it took him to finally get it, and for all our teasing, I guess I have been as big a fool as he.

See, I have a secret of my own I've been hiding. Clever girl that you are, I'm shocked you didn't figure me out. But, now it is time to make good on a promise I made my twin before the war. The thing is, for all my joking and playfulness, I'm quite in love with you. Have been since your 5th year. I was sure you would never see me as anything other than a lazy prankster, and your best friend/ boyfriends misfit older brother. I couldn't stand in the way of you or Ron's happiness. You both deserve it after all you have endured. I just can't break my promise to someone who was my other part, and to the girl who has my heart. Take care of my brother. Take care of each other. Be happy, for that is all I hope for is your happiness.

And lastly, go to your parents. They will understand, and love you all the more. For see, they raised a very clever witch, and love you very much. Live well my beautiful braniac. I will always be here if you need me. Only you would be clever enough to find me, if you ever needed to.

Yours Always,

Gred

Thinking back on it now, I felt like the saint I had teased Fred that I was when I lost an ear in getting good ol' Harry safely to the Burrow. I had let go of the one thing that tied to me to a world of happiness, to allow for someone elses joy other than my own. Thoughts of her made my days brighter somehow, but only dimly. Nothing could be as bright compared to her actual presence. But, it helped with the stabbing pain that filled my world whenever thoughts of Fred persisted. I had never thought someone who had made their entire life essentially a joke, would get a calming relaxation from becoming a writer. That's what I do now. I sit here on my appartment terrace, typing away on this thing Hermoine once called a laptop, pouring my heart out to the world; and it helps. With every sentence, there is a bit of release. A little of the pain seeps away, and I know my personal angel would be proud. See, somewhere in the back of my mind, I do this as much for her and Fred, as for myself.

A knocking at the door pulled me out of my reverie. Must be my editor. I haven't mailed him anything in weeks. I've been silently sulking. Opening the door, I didn't know wether to shut it, or pass out. A tearful Hermoine with that beautiful smile on her face and my letter in the hand was on the other side.

"Hello George." Holding up the letter, she said," I guess I am pretty clever afterall. You see I did find you, and now that I have, I'm not leaving."

Opening the door wider I held my arms out for what I had been waiting all this time to happen. Hermoine to rush foward and throw her arms around me. Ah, it was worth the wait. Now, I truely was whole again.

Thank you Fred, I did it.


End file.
